Criticism on my writing?!?

You were definitely successful with making this depressing. If I may make a suggestion though, you should add in *why* she is feeling this way. Or have something tragic happen in the beginning., then have her go through these thoughts/emotions. It's easier for the audience to put themselves in her place when they have an idea as to why she's feeling hopeless. Also because if this is for a writing class, you might have others writing something similar to this. That aside, you have a 'nice' piece here. :)